Day 1
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Day 2
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Bach's Wedding
It's hosted at the Bel-Air Bay Club in Santa Monica and is slightly unreal. We're greeted with Prosecco as we descend the stone stairs onto the manicured lawn overlooking the water. It's schmoozy. Bach's mom is funny about it. "Only important people get married here," she says with much eye winking and elbow rubbing. After the ceremony, we all head inside to the house-mansion to admire the indoor fountain, grab hors d'oeuvre off silver plates and dive into a heaping pile of shrimp cocktail.
The reception is fun. The live band is great. The girls at my table decide to wear the napkin holders as headbands. Other tables see this and think it's a great idea. We start a headband club. We sing and dance and except for that incident where Zach knocks my drink out of my hand and it splashes all over me, we have a great time.
Oh yeah. And my dress? I bought it for fifteen dollars.
The reception is fun. The live band is great. The girls at my table decide to wear the napkin holders as headbands. Other tables see this and think it's a great idea. We start a headband club. We sing and dance and except for that incident where Zach knocks my drink out of my hand and it splashes all over me, we have a great time.
Oh yeah. And my dress? I bought it for fifteen dollars.
Day 3
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Lingala
The place is not what I was expecting. It's a little oasis in the middle of what I assume is downtown LA, though I can't be sure. We get inside and Mike heads straight for the porta potties. When we're in line, this girl turns to me and asks, "Are you boushy?" I tell her I don't know what that means. "Boushy. You know, like, fancy." No. I'm definitely not fancy. "Oh, well, neither am I." This is a weird conversation, but somehow it continues. Her husband asks if I know about the "triad." Again, huh? He points to his hippy circle shirt and starts explaining an alternate theory for the origin of the universe. I'm completely lost, but now we've been in line with these people for like 20 minutes and we're sort of obligated to be nice.
Until Lee comes on. Then we escape into the crowd.
He plays Lingala. Someone is singing live. Things are consumed. The music gets better. Three hours pass in a blink.
Until Lee comes on. Then we escape into the crowd.
He plays Lingala. Someone is singing live. Things are consumed. The music gets better. Three hours pass in a blink.
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Day 4
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Sweet HotelWe're staying at the Clement Monterey Intercontinental. It's uber nice. Right on the bay, and our room has a fireplace. I don't care that it's 70 degrees outside, I turn that baby on first thing.
A bellboy (bellman? Bellhop?) brings our suitcases up after us. This is nice. Or, it would be. The problem is that Mike decides to remove his shirt and hop into bed the minute we arrive, so poor bellman spots half-naked Mike, turns beet red and starts whispering. "You don't need to do that," I tell him. "He's not asleep." I could add that he's just hungover, but I'm trying to act classy here. The bellguy doesn't take my advice. He keeps whispering all his instructions about bottled water and where to find the extra sheets, but I'm not listening because this is awkward. I'm speaking in normal tones and he's whispering and neither of us can wait for the moment to end. We learn that the hotel has a happy hour that ends in 30 minutes, so we rush to change and freshen up and skip downstairs. The wine is good. The view is good. The smell of saltwater is welcome. For dinner, we walk over to Fish Hopper. I'm not super hungry, so I go for the clam chowder and the Caesar salad, plus Mike and I decide to split the abalone. The server takes our orders, leaves, then comes back 10 minutes later. "I'm so sorry," she says. "I lost your order." We scratch our heads. You lost it? What does that even mean? It works in our favor, though, because she comps our appetizer and brings us free ceviche. When the abalone does come, I'm glad we just ordered one. First, because I'm no longer hungry, and second, because it was $50 for two tiny little shells. (I think they're actually snails?). We figured we should try it since it's an uncommon offering, and I'm glad we did. It was tasty! Super garlicky and different. |
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Day 5
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Crazy Lady House RulesWhen we were still in Santa Monica, Kyle showed me the Airbnb listing for our stay in Sonoma. It mostly seemed normal except for one glaring difference: the "description" section was one thousand pages long.
Usually, hosts use the description portion of a listing to add suggestions for where guests can eat nearby or how to check in and out. Not this lady. She was extreme. Every detail of the house was listed, including shit like where to find the silverware (in a drawer in the kitchen). And the rules. The rules. Don't leave the windows open past 9:45. Don't lock your car after dark (the noise of the beep will "disrupt neighbors"). Turn the fan on when taking a shower. No fires. No loud music. No breathing. No fun. Once we actually arrive and see the inside, it gets worse. There are labels with rules on everything. Every surface is covered with little reminders of what you're not allowed to do. The AC unit has several, including a sticky note under a pair of buttons that states simply, "Don't touch these buttons." On the fridge we find a delightful note about how "hard" this lady's housekeeper works and to "be respectful." Jesus Christ. At least the place is nice. That night, Mike, Kyle and Britt all go out but I stay in. I'm feeling like I need a break. |
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Day 6
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Wine Tour TimeAfter Deercreek, we head to the final winery for the wine tour. I walk up and am confused (freaked out?) when the four strangers sitting on the porch somehow know my name. I realize a moment later this is our tour group, they have my name because we signed up for the tour, and I - being the last person to arrive - could be identified based on process of elimination. But to my wine-drunk brain, this is still creepy.
The tour is awesome. It's so personal and our guide is really fun. There's a part where we're standing by the ferment-machines (technical name) and we taste white wine and this cheese and it's like - my god. Now I understand the magic that is a good wine and cheese pairing. These two. But. Together. SO good. We head inside for more wine and cheese pairings and tastings. I'm the youngest person here by far, but everyone's nice. We originally had a 9:45 dinner reservation at The Girl and the Fig because it's supposed to be amazing and pretty hard to get into, but Britt cancelled the reservation because 9:45 is wayyyy past our bedtime. As we're walking out of the wine tasting wondering where to eat dinner, I offer to call the restaurant anyway just to see. "Do you have a wait?" I ask. Nope. It's 7:00. Perfect. The food here is unreal. Mike and I order a bunch of things to share. The fig and arugula salad (delicious). The croqes monsieur (love those). The black pepper gnocchi (so good, soft in the middle and crispy on the outside). The others order drinks but not me. After, we walk around for a bit. Mike grabs some ice cream at Sweet Scoops. Even though I claim not to want any ice cream, I cajole him into getting the flavor I want and then hawk. He knew this was going to happen. I'm kind of typical. After, we hail and Uber and call it a good night. |
Leaving Cali
It's the end of our California trip, but Mike and I are off to Vancouver! In the morning, Kyle and Britt drive us to the airport. We say our goodbyes and promise to do it all again soon.
Our Favorite Memories
Mike: I'm going to take a guess and say for him it was seeing Lee. Let's see if I'm right.
"Hey Monster, what was your favorite part of the first half of our trip?"
He sort of groans. He's working. "What's the first part?"
"From California."
He kind of shakes his head. "Lee Burridge."
Nailed it.
For me, it was standing on the balcony in Monterey inhaling the ocean air with the fire going nearby, or laughing over all the hilarious rules in Sonoma. Both of the settings were absolutely gorgeous.
"Hey Monster, what was your favorite part of the first half of our trip?"
He sort of groans. He's working. "What's the first part?"
"From California."
He kind of shakes his head. "Lee Burridge."
Nailed it.
For me, it was standing on the balcony in Monterey inhaling the ocean air with the fire going nearby, or laughing over all the hilarious rules in Sonoma. Both of the settings were absolutely gorgeous.